Attack! Your Urge to Fight Back


Imagine this scene in a Hollywood movie: images of screaming, sword-clashing hordes running towards their enemies.

Today we are more civilized and handle our disputes in a courtroom, using weapons like a lawsuit.

Our motive, however, is the same; we want to crush our enemies.

Lawyers and lawsuits are our weapons.

During the legal battle, you paint your cause as just and the other side’s as unjust. You fight as if you were battling demons in a personal war.

At some point, you start believing your own propaganda. You may not realize that, even if you win your lawsuit, the process can still devastate you.

Once attacked, your self-preservation instincts are triggered and you want to fight or flee.

Would you listen to your legal advisor and heed the warnings? Perhaps you are too angry to stop fighting.

In my next post, we’ll look at what part our emotions play in every dispute. You can also read my previous blog posts on mediation.